psy·chot·ic leop·ard sīˈkädik/ˈlepərd/ noun · anything that is funky, interesting, beautiful, niche, useful, and grabs one's attention

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My Top Five Favorite T-shirts and Why: From A Sixteen Year-Old Boy  

Posted by Lisa Johnson on

I have to say the following is a guest blog from my son, who has amassed a huge amount of t-shirts.  He has never been into "brands," and instead, like me, chooses what to wear based on how fashion reflects who he is as an individual, and whether the item has a story behind it.  Here, he talks about which of his t-shirts he enjoys wearing the most, and why:

I love t-shirts.  My obsession started when I was 7 years old, as a relatively normal child who saw the most majestic t-shirt:  “This is what cool looks like!” it said, which I ended up talking my mom into getting for me.  After that, I convinced her to get me a bunch of sarcastic, sardonic, egocentric t-shirts, which I wear all of the time.  At sixteen, I have a huge collection.  And, without any further ado, here is my top five list of t-shirts I appreciate the most, at least right now.

My fifth pick is one saying, “You read my t-shirt.  That’s enough social interaction for one day.”

It perfectly illustrates the idea that just because I’m wearing a funny t-shirt does not mean I want to engage.  I feel this sort of t-shirt is necessary to ward off those obnoxious people who decide to start a conversation by laughing about what’s on your shirt.  Another element of this shirt that I find funny is the fact that instead it instead of making a person’s eyes focus “up here,” he or she ends up staring at my stomach, which amuses me.  

My fourth favorite t-shirt shirt is a salmon colored one that my mom’s friend, Delphine, gave to me.  She works in movies, and she got it in San Francisco a few years ago.  On the back, it says, “SECURITY” in large, bold white letters.  On its front is an abstract picture of a fish riding a bike on water.  However, the fish is part human, similar to a reverse-mermaid.  

I like this shirt a lot because it reminds me of when I went across the country, and also deludes people into believing that I’m some form of a security guard, or that I’m an employee at whatever I’m doing.  Instead, I’m actually just an edgy child wearing a t-shirt calling myself unique.  So, when I wear this shirt to school, it’s entirely different than anything a normal teenager can concoct within his respective wardrobe, and allows me to stick out into a crowd by being different.  With this shirt on, I don’t feel like the ‘goth kid who doesn’t want to conform;’ I actually feel as though I’m being true to myself.

A third favorite t-shirt of mine is from an experience which happened last year.  I went to a godly concert, that of the Foo Fighters.  And there I purchased a blue t-shirt that says, “Break a leg. Foo Fighters Tour 2015.” The singer Dave Grohl ended up shattering the bones in his leg a couple weeks prior, and he didn’t want to cancel his tour, so he ended up having a makeshift throne to play on.  It was amazing.  Seeing someone so passionate, and so grateful of his fans that even through a broken leg, he would still continue his tour, and make jokes, and still try to have a good time, just lifts my heart. It goes without saying that I enjoy the Foo Fighters quite a bit.  The concert was something special to me, because I was excited for it for months, and I had a blast, and whenever I wear the shirt, a little spark of that evening comes back to me.   

My second favorite t-shirt is a “Make Happy” t-shirt from a Bo Burnham concert.   It shows the comedian with a clown face on it, with the words “Make Happy,” the name of his tour.  The reason why I love this shirt is because that whole evening was such a remarkable experience.  Me and my friend ended up going to a Chinese restaurant before arriving to the concert, stuffed our faces, and afterwards, proceeded to have one of the best nights of our life, hearing some of the funniest jokes we’ve ever heard.  I had cried that night from laughter.  His wordplay was amazing.  When  I wear this shirt to school and see my friend, we exchange glances, and without saying a thing, we both remember that night, and I can also show it off to my other Bo Burnham-loving friends.  

The moment we’ve all been waiting for has all time favorite t-shirt has nothing on it other than a pun.  It’s a white shirt that says,”The second amendment,” and it shows a guy with arms that resemble that of a grizzly (The second amendment is the right to bear arms...get it?)*

I love this shirt because I do debate, and I enjoy the way in which this shirt combines a bit of constitution knowledge with a pun.  So, when I wear it to school, I can enjoy my smartass status while at the same time having fun with some silliness.  It’s enjoyable to seem friendly while at the same time taking a non offensive stance on a controversial issue.

That was my top five list of my favorite t-shirts!  Hope you enjoyed it!


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